*newsflash* my sph scholarship application is kapoots. they've "seriously considered me but regret to tell me that they cannot accept me" oh well..i'm disappointed..but it's their loss if u ask me.
so anyway..lately i've been thinking quite a bit(nothing constructive). i dun wanna grow old (yes..that's what i've been thinking abt). i want to be able to eat ice cream in a messy way, and not look stupid. i wanna be able to get away with whining, and sit down on the floor in a huff when things dun go my way. i dun wanna go thru the politics of life, it's too complicating. i wanna see and understand things from a child's perspective, and enjoy that God made everything beautiful, right now, it's hard to see that. i dun wanna experience pain, loss, death, anything remotely heartbreaking. i want to marvel loudly at anything new and interesting, in a public place, without getting 'she must be mad' looks from ppl who don't know better. i want to have a good childhood, one free of stress and constant worry as to whether i'm doing enough to please my parents, one where i learn to ride a bike from my dad, my mum takes me kite-flying, a childhood so foreign to me, yet one which my friends have. i was deprived of simple joys like these as i grew up. can u blame me for not wanting to grow up?
i dun wanna grow up, tho i guess i have done bits of growing up. ughhhh
so today i read some entries in a friend's blog..and what i read is really worrying. i ask her abt it, she ignores me. but some things i can't let go off, like this friendship, only leads to more worry. i think i think too much at times. oh well..i'm still worried.
i'm going to watch slping beauty on ice!!! that's one good thing to look forward to. and i wanna go to the zoo..fly a kite..shop..read..slp. i want to do the reverse bungee..live life the way an 18-yr-old is supposed to live, reckless, carefree, unrestrained.
